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Tuesday, September 1, 2009

confusion... why must we feel it?

So, I'm sure I'm not the only one around here feeling the same way. Why do we need to feel confused all the time? Why can't we be certain of something everytime? I want to be certain of what I'm going to do with my life, my career, etc. But I can't because I have to feel confused about it first.

How fun!

I'd love to be one of those people who know what they want to do in life. I'd love to say: "I want to be a doctor, or a lawyer. Now I just have to figure out how to reach that goal." Unfortunately, I'm the complete opposite: "What's my goal? What do I want to do? Where do I go? What do I like to do?" I HAVE NO CLUE!

Should it really be this hard? Its not like I was never involved in anything when I was younger. I took dancing lessons, music lessons, Jiu-Jitsu, took theater classes, participated in school carnivals, went camping, played baseball, went to see hockey all the time, travelled a lot with the family. I wasn't really deprived of anything that could broaden my horizons to an interesting career. I was brought up to be very open to any career.

Now here I am several years later, with no idea what to do. How can this even be possible? Too many possibilities? Too many choices? Was I not born with decision making capabilities?

I'm not in my second program of post-secondary education. Still no clue what I want to do. Hopefully one day, I can look back at what I really like to do, and work off of that in a drastic way to really open up my eyes to what I want to do.

Life! URGH!

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